Authentic August – Day 28 (20 days ‘ til 28)
We’re going to pause today on the Hopeless Romantic series because I just want to express my gratitude to The Universe/God. If you can’t tell from pretty much all of Authentic August, I’ve been experiencing this underlying sense of anxiety. Unrest. Tension. And I’ve really been seeking clarity in “Discipline” and peace in “Surrender.”
And over the past week things have started to fall into place; things are beginning to clear up. And it all culminated with a conversation with God/The Universe/”That Which Sustains” yesterday after work…
I clocked out. I turned the car on. Hit the A/C button. And before I called my buddy on the phone, before I placed the car in drive, before anything, I just felt like talking to God. So I sat there and prayed. It went a little something like this:
“Hey God! I know it’s been a minute… and you know I’m not a fan of the word God because of all the baggage it holds for me, but… I figure it’s time to talk. I want to surrender my life to you. I know I can’t make sense of how or why this works (prayer), and I won’t try to figure it out; all I know is that I trust that it does. So I’m asking for your guidance. Because whatever you have in store for me is grander than any vision I could have dreamed up on my own. Plus, the dreams that have been planted in my heart were placed there by you anyway, so it’s not like you would steer me in a direction that wasn’t either good for me, or that I wouldn’t like eventually. You have my best interest at heart. And even if it isn’t how I think it should go, I’ve always wanted to grow as a tree does, and trees grow naturally, as you created them to. So I want to do that which you’ve created me to do. I want to surrender to whatever you have in store for me. I’m tired of feeling anxious. I’m tired of ignoring my spiritual side. I want peace. I want to be better. I want to understand that I am worthy. So I’m letting go and I’m letting God/The Universe/”That Which Sustains”… Do your thing. Amen.”
Immediately I felt lighter! What a trip, huh?! And I laughed, and I felt good, and I was just happy. After all my scrambling and thinking over the past few weeks, it was nice to just lay it down before a Power greater than I. I’m a spiritual person. I always have been. So it’s super important for me to keep spirituality and connection to Source at the forefront of my life. It’s just that I forget this every once in a while. But it’s cool, because I can always pick up where we left off and I’m overwhelmingly grateful for that. That no matter where I run off to, no matter how long I hide, whenever I’m ready to come back home, I’m greeted with a welcoming embrace. Thanks for reading.
With LOVE,
Q.