Authentic August – Day 25 (23 days ’til 28)
I think it’s bonkers that despite all the major positive changes I’ve made within the last several months – like consistently creating content, a decreased consumption of drugs and alcohol, a healthier diet, more financial control, and better overall clarity of purpose – I still get trapped into believing I’m not good enough. Like, at what point will I begin to feel like my efforts are paying off? What do I need to do to experience peace within myself?
Maybe it’s too early in the game and I’m just getting impatient with the process. If that’s the case, then so be it. After all, at the end of the day, all I can really do is control those things which are within my Circle of Influence, and let go of anything which falls within my Circle of Concern, or those things I do not have control over. As the saying goes, “Do your best, and forget the rest.”
And here’s another goodie: “Let go and let God.”
The word that just popped into my head is Surrender. Maybe there are certain things I’m placing within my Circle of Influence that actually belong in my Circle of Concern. Maybe I’m trying to control things that should be surrendered…
For me, surrender means trust and faith. Trusting that the Universe or God has your back, and having faith that everything is going to turn out alright. Though my spiritual journey has taken many turns, I’ve always had Faith. I’ve always had a gut feeling that my life is heading in the right direction, even if I don’t know exactly where I’m going. So I suppose I can rest easy here; in trusting that even though I still feel small despite all the positive change I’m making, I’m on my way to feeling bigger and bigger each day.
I know I already have a lot on my plate. But a discipline I want to attend to is making sure I’m engaging with my spiritual side on a daily basis. Maybe this looks like reading the Bible and praying. Maybe it means reading the Power of Now and meditating. Whatever combination I choose, I have a feeling that the peace I’m seeking is found in my spiritual journey. As such, something else I’d like to dive deep into this next phase of my life is my spirituality. Studying spiritual texts, listening to spiritual teachers, and developing a practice.
By paying more attention to my spirituality, I think I’ll better foster my ability to surrender. I’m noticing a lot of resistance in my life lately. Resisting certain people, certain emotions, certain opportunities. And since it seems I’m doing well with the Discipline side of the equation, it’s time to pour more into the Surrender side.
Remember, Discipline + Surrender = Play.
With LOVE,
Q.
p.s. This isn’t necessarily related to what I just wrote, but it’s something I keep thinking about: I want to surrender my life to the Universe/God because I believe that what they have in store for me is far greater than anything I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. So I just gotta show up and do my best, and then let go and let God.