Authentic August – Day 3
Do you CREATE yourself?
Or
Do you DISCOVER who you are?
Back in college I studied psychology and we always seemed to spend the first lecture, regardless of what class it was, answering the question…
NATURE vs. NURTURE?
Is our personality determined by our NATURE: our genetics and our DNA? Or is it determined by NURTURE: our upbringing, our environment, our choices?
And in that first lecture, regardless of what class it was, this was always the answer to that question: It’s BOTH.
So the “nature vs. nurture” discussion in that first lecture, regardless of what class is was, functioned more as a disclaimer. An acknowledgement, if you will. As if they were saying, “Yeah, we know the answer is BOTH, but in this class we’re going to study why it’s mostly NATURE!” Or, “In this class we’re going to study why it’s mostly NURTURE!”
So with that disclaimer at the forefront, let’s return to the opening question:
Do you CREATE yourself?
Or
Do you DISCOVER who you are?
I’ve been battling with this question for years now, and like many other ongoing battles of mine, it just finds a cozy home in the back of my mind, until some existential flare up brings it back front and center. And now that it is front and center, now that I am thinking about it, I recognize the answer is the same as the disclaimer in my psychology classes: both. But now I’m wrestling with the percentages: What percentage is creating who you are and what percentage is discovering who you are?
I think the major obstacle for me is that, if left to my own devices, I would try to create a version of myself who only seeks pleasure and excitement, and riches and fame. And I spent the better part of the last decade living a rather hedonistic lifestyle, chasing whatever shiny object that promised me the most immediate gratification.
(Just as a brief aside: obviously that’s an oversimplification of the last decade of my life. I did grow immensely, and I went through experiences that will forever shape how I move through the world.)
But I guess what I’m trying to figure out is the balance between discovery and creation. Do I get to pick who I become? Or rather, do I find myself?
Now I’m a self-help junkie, and I’m constantly hearing messages that say “you create your own destiny…”
that “you can manifest the life of your dreams…”
that “the law of attraction works if you just follow these 3 simple steps…”
Truth be told, I actually do believe those messages. I do think that we, at the level of the individual, are capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. It’s a matter of accepting responsibility for our lives, which then unlocks the creative power within.
So yes, while I do think we can choose who we become, if we aren’t invested in the process of discovering who we really are deep down, we may end up choosing a life that, in reality isn’t meant for us.
In other words, I do think you can use the law of attraction to manifest a life full of sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll, or whatever your “dream life” might be, but I think if you never take the time to try and discover yourself, to find yourself, then that “dream life” will ultimately be meaningless.
Do I want to curate a spectacular, experience-laden existence for myself? Of course! But I want to do so AUTHENTICALLY. By aligning myself with whatever instructions were written on my heart just before I was conceived.
Thanks for reading.
With LOVE,
Q