Authentic August – Day 12
I’m rather exhausted today! I’m functioning just fine, but I’m only just getting by. And I’m not motivated to write this post. The reason why is that I didn’t get much sleep last night. I was finishing up my weekly YouTube video, which I’ve promised to release before I go to bed every Tuesday night. If I don’t, then I’m supposed to donate to an anti-charity. So far this strategy is working out for me, and I am posting every Tuesday night (or Wednesday morning), but this whole staying up late thing has got to go!
I’ve always been a night owl, but I think it’s time to become an early bird! I was actually already consistently waking up around 5:00 am for a good while there – from March to June – but my habits kind of went by the wayside when I got lost in my emotional/existential slump. But now I’m back!
I think from March to June my habits were a little too disciplined and a bit too intense, which is part of why I slipped into the slump in the first place. So what we’re after here is sustainability. Balance. Again… how can we play at the intersection of discipline and surrender?
Let’s brainstorm:
First of all, I think this daily blog is important because it prioritizes my creative side. In the recent past, my life revolved around a solid morning routine and my meditation practice. And I think that’s great! But I neglected my creativity. And I think it’s odd to claim that I’m a musician and that I have dreams of making a living by making things, but at the same time spend little time actually pursuing that dream. Oh the crippling nature of fear!
So now I’d like to experiment with designing my days around my creativity, and not the other way around. I still want to maintain a healthy work-life balance, but if anything must be sacrificed, it will no longer be my craft. And I’m liking the idea of using this blog as the foundation for all of my other habits, including waking up earlier.
Here’s what I’m thinking:
- Sleep before midnight. (As a night owl, it isn’t uncommon for me to stay up much later than this.)
- Wake up before the sun. (I hesitate to set a definite sleep/wake time because when I get too rigid, I either burn out or I resist the schedule. It’s almost like I don’t like being told what to do, even if it’s my past self ordering me around. Crazy right? Lol. Also, when I “fail” or miss one of my habits, the perfectionist in me gets super critical and I end up feeling badly about myself. Then it’s a downward spiral from there! So this is my workaround for now.)
- Spend the first 90 minutes of my waking hours completing this daily blog.
Since I’m already committed to “Authentic August”, I’m willing to run this experimental schedule for the remainder of the month. (But only on my days off, which should be fine since I only work three days a week.) I think it’s pretty straightforward and I believe I can stick to it; after all, August is already almost halfway through. So let’s see what happens! I’ll report back if and when I learn anything significant.
With LOVE,
Q.