Month: September 2020

Simply September – Day 3 (14 days ’til 28)

Here’s Parts I, II, and III! And truth be told, I’m a bit hesitant to write Part IV, but it’s WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT!

Lol jk. I have no idea what the people want. BUT! I figure I should try to bring this series to some sort of a close. So here’s what’s happening:

I’m learning about the wondrous power of commitment.

I already sort of touched on this topic in the The Power of Consistency but it’s been a trip to see how it’s affected my relationship with Ashley. But let’s back up a bit.

If you’re all caught up from I, II, and III, then you know that Ashley and I conducted an extremely codependent relationship, and that was a major reason why we broke up / went on a break. The whole idea of the “break” was to spend some time trying find ourselves, to learn how to be independent, or at least start to learn, then reconvene and see if we were still interested in exploring a romantic relationship with each other.

And honestly… I thought I knew that it was truly over. I thought I knew that I wanted to live in a new city and date around some more. I thought I knew that I wanted to become a king and build my kingdom first, before seeking out my queen. But all of these predictions were made pre-COVID, pre- living at home, pre- Ashley finding her self-worth. And most importantly, pre- learning just how transformative my commitments to myself have turned out to be.

With the intent to “find myself” at the beginning of the break, I got to work on some key habits. I’ll spare you the details but basically I got super healthy! I meditated a bunch, I started writing songs again, I got my finances in order, and perhaps most impressively, I abided by the rules of Whole 30 for a full four months! That means I didn’t consume any added sugar, no alcohol, no weed, no bread, no rice, no dairy, no sweets; just eating whole, healthy foods. For four months!

This is big for me! Especially in terms of sobriety. I wasn’t a drunk or a stoner per se, but for the last seven years I was probably drunk or high every single week. And I’m not ashamed of that; I lived around and often hung out with my friends, and we just liked to party. Plus I was a goodie two shoes growing up, so I never broke the rules; I guess you could say I was catching up! But since moving home and sheltering-in-place, it’s actually been pretty smooth and sober.

With the consistent sobriety came clarity. With no relationship to think about, I was able to consider what I really wanted from life. And ultimately I’m open to however my life is going to unfold, but I do know that I want to be happy and healthy.

And one of the major shifts I experienced was getting financially healthy. I’ll write about this in more detail later, but suffice to say I got my spending under control and I set some long-term goals for my money. I made a two-year investment goal. And in order to reach that goal I need to stay committed. And one of the the sacrifices I need to make to achieve that goal is to live at home for THE NEXT TWO YEARS! At least! So I’ll be here until I’m 30! But that’s okay, because it’s aligned with my dream life.

But by actually making these commitments and sacrifices, I was unknowingly practicing the meta-skill of commitment. I was opening up to the idea of commitment, something I’ve always been afraid of. And now I’m more open to it in other contexts… like in relationships!

To be continued…

With LOVE,

Q.

Simply September – Day 2 (15 days ’til 28)

(This is more of a stream of consciousness/brainstorming post, FYI.)

I took a break from bullet journaling for the month of August, but I’m still undecided if I’m going to pick it back up just yet. I do miss the practice, but it can get a little time-consuming. Perhaps I can find some version that would serve as a sort of Minimum Effective Dose.

Needless to say I’m thinking about how best to go about this month. I’ve made some pretty hefty commitments to myself, and I’d like to see them through. At the same time, I don’t want to be pulled back into the “momentum” and “commotion” that comes when I overbook myself.

So here’s what I’m thinking:

1st thing – Morning Routine // 7 Habits

2nd thing – Metanoia Responsibilities

3rd thing – This Blog!

Those are the general umbrella categories I’d like to pay attention to. Again, I’m trying to simplify for this upcoming year of birth. So less is more! That is the name of the game right now.

And patience.

And prayer.

Seems like this post is just remembering everything I wrote about in August lol. And I still have yet to reread those and do a proper reflection on them. I’ll be going on vacation next week, so I’ll carve out some dedicated time to review Authentic August.

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I’m noticing that anxious feeling again. So I’d like to take a moment to remind myself that everything I’m trying to finish by the end of today… It can honestly all wait until tomorrow. Heck, it can even wait ’til the next day! So Christian… take a breath. You are okay. Even when you aren’t doing anything productive. You. Are. Okay. You’ve already done a lot for the day and you had work. So just relax. Say a little prayer. And do it again tomorrow! I love you.

With LOVE,

Q.

Simply September – Day 1 (16 days ’til 28)

Hello and welcome to Simply September! This will be a lot like Authentic August, with the following adjustments to the rules:

1. Write at least 250 words.
2. Publish at least 4 times a week.
3. Still be authentic.
4. Still sing one song everyday.

If you’ve been keeping up with the blog thus far, you know how much fulfillment I’ve gotten from writing here every single day, so I want to maintain some semblance of that. Thing is, September is a busy month for me, so I want to set realistic goals for myself. I know myself enough to know that I’d feel disappointed and guilty if I didn’t stick to say the daily writing goal, so this is my way of building slack into the system.

That said, I’m going to do my best to write every day anyway lol. Simply September is just a continuation of last month’s blog with the same focus on creativity, curiosity, and connection. And of course, as you can see in the tagline up on the left-hand corner of this page, the dominant, overarching question of this blog is

How do we strike a good balance between Discipline and Surrender and thus enter a state of Play (Flow)?

I chose the word “Simply” because it’s shorter than “Sincerely” and because I actually do like keeping things simple (despite what my over-analytical mind might say!). I’m on an ongoing quest for more simplicity – a semi-minimalist lifestyle, you could say – because I just can’t seem to focus when there’s too much clutter and when there’s too much going on.

So if you’re new here coming in on the winds of the new month, thanks for sticking around! I’m figuring out life one day at a time and sharing what I’m learning, because… what’s the alternative?

With LOVE,

Q.