Month: August 2020

Authentic August – Day 21 (27 days ’til 28)

“If you’re faithful with what’s in your hand, God will give you what’s in your heart.”

I heard this driving home last night and it seems to have lodged itself into my brain! For context, this little nugget of wisdom came from Sean Cannell of Think Media. They’re hosting a 7-Day YouTube Influence Challenge and while I’ve decided I’m not actively doing the challenge due to the insane schedule, I am still listening to the live training replays during my commute to and from work.

I know Sean is a former pastor so I googled the quote to see if it’s Biblical. Turns out it comes from The Parable of the Shrewd Manager. Here’s the specific verse I think the quote is derived from:

¹² And if you have not been faithful in that which is another’s, who will give you that which is your own?

Luke 16:12 (ESV)

I won’t get into the details of the parable, but I will focus on what the quote is bringing up for me. And if you’ve been following the last fews blogs, you can probably guess what it has to do with: more simplification!

So I’ve referenced this in my livestreams, but I haven’t yet written about it here: I work as the Social Media and Content Strategist for my buddy’s company, Metanoia LLC. We believe that in order to build the life of your dreams, you first need to build a strong financial foundation. So we help people take control of their finances through a combination of coaching, community, and budgeting. I’ve benefitted immensely as a Metanoia Member – my finances have never been healthier, but what’s even better is working on the business! I get to work with and learn from two of my friends, Sean and Fernando. And even though I joined the team a little later, it really does feel like we’re at the ground level of this business.

Only thing is… I’m not “being faithful with what’s in my hand.” The quote says that if we’re faithful with what’s in our hands, God or the Universe will give us what’s in our hearts. Metanoia LLC is the thing that’s in my hands right now. And I think recently I’ve been really focused with what’s on my heart. Which is fine! But I’d like there to be a better balance between these two ventures.

And what this probably means is that some of the other projects I’m working on need to be put on the shelf for now. So I’m going to think about that more, but basically I’m just expressing a fresh desire and commitment to hustle and grind with Metanoia. It’s definitely a stepping stone on the journey to my dream life, and I should remember that and take full advantage of this opportunity.

What’s in your hands that you should be faithful to? Are you also impatient with the dreams that are in your heart? Please let me know in the comments! Talk to y’all tomorrow.

With LOVE,

Q.

p.s. the link above is my first affiliate link! If you buy anything from us using my link, I get a small portion of that. And I’ve already made a couple bucks from it! It’s actually pretty exciting for me and it reminds me that my dreams are indeed possible. And yours are too 🙂

Authentic August – Day 20 (28 days ’til 28)

Yesterday I talked about decluttering our chessboards in order to make the game easier to play; it’s just a cute analogy to say that we should strive to simplify our lives. I elaborated a bit more during the livestream and then I introduced some ways I’m looking to simplify my life. And the top item on the simplification to-do list is TIDYING UP!

I first read Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up several years ago after I bought the book for my parents as a Christmas present (I don’t think they ever read it lol). During that time I was hyped on minimalism: I watched the Minimalism documentary on Netflix, I would play minimalism TED Talks in the background as I was packing up to move to a new apartment, and I was simulateneously trying to get rid of as many possessions as possible.

A common thread found in the topics I find most interesting is this idea of living an intentional life, and that’s what minimalism is about ultimately. It’s more than just getting rid of your possessions; it’s about determining what you value, and making sure those values stay front and center in your life.

So in the spirit of minimalism and living a more intentional life, I’m rereading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up! I’m about a third of the way through, and this weekend I plan to execute on what I’m learning. According to Ms. Kondo, if you tidy up the right way, you’ll only need to do it once. None of her clients have ever rebounded, and her waiting list has a waiting list. So she knows her stuff!

As you can tell from the fact that I’m rereading the book, clearly I didn’t get it right the first time lol, but this is what Marie has to say about that:

“If you use the right method and concentrate your efforts on eliminating clutter thoroughly and completely within a short span of time, you’ll see instant results that will empower you to keep your space in order ever after.“

For me, this “short span of time” will be over the next 28 days, meaning by my birthday. And this is in line with my goal to start my 28th year off on the right foot. Clearing out my clutter and changing up my room “thouroughly and completely” will be my little birthday present to myself. I predict that I will feel “empowered” by the “instant results.” I think I’ll feel energized by optimizing my space and only keeping those possessions that “spark joy” as the book recommends.

As always, if there are any golden nuggets of wisdom that I read, I’ll share them here. One that I’ll leave you with today is this:

“The urge to point out someone else’s failure to tidy is usually a sign that you are neglecting to take care of your own space.”

This is so confronting! To me this quote is more than just about tidying our space… this speaks to tidying one’s life as well. Due to my own high (and impossible) standards for my life, I’ve often projected those onto friends and family unfairly. So much energy is freed up when we’re able to truly leave people alone lol. Like, you do you! This is another thing I need to work on; another way I can simplify. Instead, lead by example. Certainly we can offer feedback, but usually only when asked for it. Just lead yourself, and lead by example.

With LOVE,

Q.

Authentic August – Day 19 (29 days ’til 28)

The other day I was watching this chess video and learned about the concept of simplification. Without getting into too much detail, simplification is the process of taking a cluttered chessboard – meaning there’s still a bunch of pieces left in play – and making it less cluttered. So if you and I were playing, basically we would start a sequence of capturing each other’s pieces until there are only a handful left. With the board less cluttered, gameplay becomes more straightforward, and voila! we’ve simplified the game. As a strategy, simplification is useful to the player who has more pieces on the board, because after trading sequence is complete is, that player should still have the advantage.

But why the chess lesson, Q?! I have no interest in chess!

Well, faithful reader, it’s because simplification isn’t just a chess strategy, it’s also winning life strategy! Especially if you’re like me and you have a habit of biting off a little more than you can chew! At least this is what I immediately thought of when I was watching that chess video.

I have a tendency to pick up a lot of different projects and hobbies, and that’s because I have a lot of different interests. As the saying goes, I am a jack of all trades, but a king of none! And this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if what you’re after is mastery, then it’s best to focus on one thing at a time. So we want to simplify to amplify! We want to prune our projects down so that the ones left over are given the necessary space to grow! We want to declutter our chessboard so that the game is easier to play!

Now I go through pruning stages all the time, so I’m pretty accustomeed to analyzing my projects and hobbies and deciding which need to be placed on hold or dropped altogether. But something I’m not accustomed to is momentum! So let’s take a brief detour and talk about momentum, and then I’ll lead us back to talking about simplification.

I’m experiencing momentum at a more frequent rate this year, ever since Mrs. Covid asked me to stop socializing. All this alone time means I get to work on my projects for longer periods of time, so it makes sense that I would catch the momentum wave more often than ever before. And this is what I’m learning about it: momentum is rather addictive! I’m far from a workaholic, but I can see why people get that way.

Anyway, I’m noticing a trend with my momentum spikes… whenever I generate some momentum, all of a sudden I think I’m Superman lol! I start picking up one too many projects, which ultimately lead to burnout. But again, we want to simplify to amplify.

Despite my many interests and hobbies, I am a striving minimalist. I don’t think those things are necessarily mutually exclusive. I am a fan of minimalist design. I watched the movie Minimalism years before Matt D’Avella was a famous YouTuber. I read Marie Kondo’s book before she blew up on Netflix. So in the midst of some recent momentum I’ve had, I guess this post is just a friendly reminder to myself to slow down a bit and to keep things simple. To master the basics before moving on to the more advanced stuff. To simplify the chessboard so that the game is easier to play.

With LOVE,

Q.

Authentic August – Day 18 (30 days ’til 28)

Two and a half weeks into this project and people are beginning to notice! Nothing major. Just little comments here and there. One friend even reached out to encourage me to keep it up. He’s an old coworker of mine, and someone I have a lot of respect for. He’s maybe in his late thirties or early forties, and he has a family to support, but even so his creative projects are amazing, and his work ethic is through the roof! We used to chat about my dreams/struggles to make music and other content, and I’d pick his brain for any tips he might’ve had for me. Anyway, he messaged me and said this:

“Hi Q! I’ve been noticing all your posts and new videos! I feel it was yesterday when we were talking about making things happen. I just want to let you know that I am really excited for you. All gas no brakes! Keep that good work coming.”

All gas, no brakes…

So good! And it felt so good to receive these kind words. Especially from someone I admire. And I just want to take a moment to appreciate the recognition. From him and from my other friends. These are the little reminders which tell me I’m on the right track. There isn’t a whole lot of fanfare in the beginning, which is a good thing actually! And it’s to be expected. So the encouraging words from friends is an unexpected surprise. And I’m grateful for them.

But what’s the lesson here? It isn’t that we should do creative work just so people will notice. It isn’t that we should feel better about the recognition than we do the actual creative process. The lesson is about the power of consistency. And of course, consistency is something I knew was powerful in theory, but now I’m experiencing it for myself.

When I started my YouTube channel I made an announcement video where I basically said I want to exercise my “consistency and finishing muscles.” I’d been so inconsistent with my creative work that I knew the first thing I needed to master was my ability to stay consistent and my ability to finish things to completion. And with YouTube the goal was to post something every week. But now I guess I’m throwing something up there every day! (At least for August… we’ll see if we extend this thing!)

So I’m beginning to see that I can be consistent. And that’s so wonderful because I’m beginning to change the narrative. I’m starting to see myself differently. If I want to overcome this idea that “I can’t commit to anything,” or that “I’m always starting projects, but never finishing them,” then I need to create the evidence that tells a different story. And something as simple as writing 500 words every day and then reading it out load in a livestream… I’m beginning to see there’s a different story to tell.

So what can you do every single day? Do you need stronger “consistency/finishing” muscles? Would you like to tell yourself a different story?

My buddy sent this video to me right before July ended and it influenced my decision to start “Authentic August.” It demonstrates the power of consistency with one man’s journey of drawing a bird. Every. Single. Day. It’s amazing, and I highly recommend you watch the whole thing! Let me know in the comments what you’re going to do every single day.

With LOVE,

Q.

Authentic August – Day 17 (31 days ’til 28)

In yesterday’s post I talked about how there are 31 full days before I turn 28, and how I want design those days with a good balance of discipline and surrender. Basically I want to start off 28 on the right foot. I want 28 to be the year I take myself and my dreams seriously. I want it to be the year I start walking the walk, since I’ve been talking the talk for a long while now. And even though I may not know exactly what the future has in store for me, I know that if I walk steadily towards more discipline and more surrender, I’ll be happy with myself.

Discipline means taking care of myself and putting in the work to achieve my goals. Surrender means being open to life’s opportunities and spending time connected to Love (“Love” is the name that holds the least amount of baggage for me when it comes to talking about “God”).

I was supposed to brainstorm a discipline/surrender game plan last night but I ended up reading a book and passing out instead lol. It’s alright though, I think I have a good idea of where to start:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

I came across this book in the summer of ’14, when my family and I took a trip to Oregon; my parents bought it for me from the famous Powell’s Books store. And The 7 Habits blew my mind!

(Side note: now that I’m thinking about it, 2014-2015 was a major turning point in my life. My mind was rife with new ideas because of the content I was consuming; The 7 Habits being one of them. I was experiencing freedom at a level I had never previously felt. I just felt so alive. So I guess I want to infuse year 28 with the energy and essence of year 22 haha!)

The 7 Habits introduced so many new concepts to me in such a clear and understandable way. Despite this, I’ve never been a serious student of the material and therefore I haven’t fully integrated the habits into my life. I’ve even went back several times over the past six years to reread the book and make attempts to really live out the book’s wisdom. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely improved my life just from reading and rereading The 7 Habits, but this time around I want to reach new levels of mastery with it’s material. Because as the book says, and as I’ve mentioned before in the blog,

“To learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know.”

When I started writing this post, I actually didn’t know I would be led back to The 7 Habits, but when I wrote that “Discipline means taking care of myself and putting in the work to achieve my goals” my mind immediately jumped to one of the main ideas from the book:

Circle of Influence vs. Circle of Concern

Our Circle of Influence is the list of things that we actually have control over, while our Circle of Concern is everything we don’t have control over. How often and how intensely we exercise would fall within our Circle of Influence, as well as what we eat and how many hours of sleep we get. These are things we can control, things that we have influence over. The weather and what people think about us are things that may concern us, but ultimately we do not have control over, so therefore they fall within of Circle of Concern.

Historically, I’ve spent a lot of my time worrying about things that lie within my Circle of Concern. That’s just what happens when you’re a people-pleasing, codependent person! So when I think Discipline, I think Circle of Influence; when I wrote “taking care of myself,” I thought “things I can control.” And for my 28th year, I’d like to tip the scales more towards Influence and away from Concern. And even though 22 was filled with loads of growth and freedom, looking back I recognize that I still spent the majority of my time worried about things within my Circle of Concern.

Obviously this stuff is common sense, but common sense isn’t always common practice! So I’m diving back into the sea of The 7 Habits, and we shall see what comes of it!

Because I’m a slow reader and because I also have the Personal Workbook, I’m going to give myself a full 60 days to go through it all. If I end up moving at a faster pace, then that’s cool too! But I think this is a reasonable/attainable goal. It amounts to roughly 6 pages of reading a day, but I don’t how much time I’ll need with each of the exercises from the workbook, so spreading it out over two months will help with processing and absorbing the material in a way that sticks.

If you want to build more discipline too, maybe we can go through this material together! Just hit me up and we can start a book club of sorts!

With LOVE,

Q.

p.s. I used to feel discouraged whenever I had to “start over” with something, like I am with this book. But something that’s helped me overcome this is an encouraging phrase I once saw on Instagram:

“You aren’t starting from scratch. You’re starting from experience.”

Authentic August – Day 16

In exactly one month I’ll be turning 28. Which means I have 31 full days left of my 27th year. How do I want to send off 27? And how do I want to start off 28?

Disciplined. Surrendered.

Disciplined…

I once wrote a little quote for myself, -actually I’m just gonna screenshot what I wrote on Facebook, because it still applies lol:

“Discipline’s compass points to true freedom.”

I have such a high attraction to the excitement of life that I tend to shy away from structure. Structure feels boring to me. I like being spontaneous and having a good time and “going with the flow.” And I think it was important for me to learn to live that way because I was such a “goody two shoes” growing up. But I cannot stress to you enough just how ready I am to live a more disciplined life. Still filled with the excitement and spontaneity I value, but balanced out with the discipline of taking care of myself.

And really that’s what I mean when I refer to discipline. The discipline of taking care of myself. Due to my codependent nature and my compulsion to help others first, I’ve historically neglected my own needs. And so far 2020 has been the most disciplined year of my life! Which doesn’t surprise me because I’m living at home for the first time since I left for college. It’s also the first time I’m not dating anyone in over a decade. And overall, being social is actually socially unacceptable right now. So “me time” has kind of been circumstantially forced upon me. Which is a plus I guess!

But now it’s just a matter of staying consistent. So tonight I’m going to brainstorm the the next 31 days of my life and build more discipline into it. I’ll share whatever I come up with in tomorrow’s post.

Surrendered…

Like I wrote about before, I want to grow as a tree does. Which means I want to surrender to whatever the universe has in store for me. But surrender means more than “letting go and letting God,” as they say. Ironically, it’s also a discipline! I think for me when I think surrender, I think about my spiritual side. Paying more attention to that which keeps me connected to the Divine. To others. Surrendering to the present moment. Which also means letting thoughts and feelings exist and move through you. Instead of resisting them or ruminating on them.

I guess I just want to get out of my own way! I think my Ego (in the spiritual sense, not the psychological sense) is trying to maintain some identity that ultimately is not good for me. I guess I just really want to shed my Ego. I want to shed all that I am not so that I may discover my True Self and my ultimate purpose. And I do that through the process of surrendering. I don’t know what this looks like in the practical sense yet, but I’ll come up with some ideas in tonight’s brainstorm.

Play…

I’ll never stop talking about Discipline, Surrender, and Play. It’s just an equation that makes sense to me and I want to experience it’s truth in my own life. Discipline + Surrender = Flow (but I like saying Play). So I have 31 days to adjust accordingly! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… this next stage of my life feels like it’s going to be different. Because I’m starting to feel different. Maybe it’s because 30 is right around the corner. Maybe it’s because I’m single for the first time in forever, which frees me up to confront my inner demons head on. Whatever it is, it feels like I’m beginning to live life on my own terms. It feels like this dream life I’ve been talking about… It feels like I actually have a shot at it. So I gotta shoot my shot!

With LOVE,

Q.

Authentic August – Day 15

Here’s a fun little insecurity of mine: I think nobody one wants to be my friend. I hesitate to even write this out because I feel like I’m just complaining. That I’m just being a whiny little bitch. (Side note: sometimes I can snap myself out of negative thinking by saying to myself, “Christian, quit being a whiny little bitch!”) But I’ll write it out anyway in hopes that some relief can be found on the other side. Here we go:

I like being close to people. I like being everyone’s best friend. This is probably because of my deepest fear of being unwanted or unworthy of love. But if we were to put a positive spin on it, it’s because I just love people. I love getting to know people and making my best effort to see them for who they really are. To reflect back to them that they are the most powerful beings in the universe. Because I believe when we can fully tap into Spirit, we become powerful beyond measure.

So throughout my life I’ve always gotten very close and intimate with people, and usually very quickly. We share our worries and hopes within a short period of time. I mean for goodness’ sake when I would work the register at Trader Joe’s, my favorite question was,

“What’s one of your most treasured memories?”

So yeah, I like making friends. Very naturally, I became the guy that people came to to talk about their feelings and problems. I became the shoulder to cry on. And rightfully so! I think I have some natural talent when it comes to interpersonal relationships. But then after a while – and I first noticed this at the tail end of high school/ beginning of college – I got a little jaded that people only saw me as that guy, the nice guy who would always be there for you, but not the guy who you’d invite to the party.

So in the middle of quarantine this insecurity has been bubbling up. I keep asking things like,

“Why am I the one who’s always reaching out first?”

“Why doesn’t anyone check up on me?”

“What happened to the zoom hangout we planned?”

But then I remember that there’s a FUCKING PANDEMIC GOING ON! That Black Lives Matter. That for some children, all they’ve ever known is rape and slavery. That I might just be acting like a whiny little bitch lol.

So it’s nice to spice it up with some perspective like this. There are real problems going on out there, and my friends are forced to contend with 2020 as well. Some of them don’t feel safe right now. Some of them are in deep pain. Some of them are just caught up in their own slice of the world at the moment. So this really isn’t about me. But at the same time I don’t want to minimize how I feel, or make myself wrong for feeling neglected. I acknowledge that I’m feeling this way and that it’s okay to feel what I feel. But I also want to keep things in perspective.

So to all my lovely friends who I haven’t spoken to in while… I miss you guys. I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re surviving at least. I’ve lived enough life to realize I shouldn’t be taking our lack of connection personally. I mean some of the friends I’m closest with right now are friends I haven’t talked to for the last two years. So I know we’ll cross paths again. And when that day comes, there won’t be any grudges. There will only be LOVE.

And if we do not cross paths again… thanks for filling my life with your beautiful color. I appreciate you. And I’m grateful for the time we had together.

With LOVE,

Q.

Authentic August – Day 14

Yesterday I talked about the difference between knowing something in theory and actually experiencing that thing. I gave the example of knowing that your family loves you vs. actually experiencing that love on a visceral level.

Today I’m going to talk about this same idea, but as it pertains to worthiness. The sense that “I am enough.”

I know (at least I do in my head) that I am enough. It’s a spiritual principle that I vibe with. That by virtue of being human, by virtue of being a child of God/TheUniverse, I am enough just because I exist. And that’s awesome! But I don’t always behave like this is true…

Based on my thoughts, actions, and behaviors, it would seem that I believe that I am NOT enough. It would seem that I believe that I am NOT worthy of love. That I do NOT believe that in and of myself, I am deserving. There’s a running theme in my life of trying to get people to like me – to validate that I’m lovable – because I haven’t yet done the work to truly love myself.

And this has proved to be very useful actually! Turns out that when you feel like you are not lovable you do everything in your power to get people to love you. So I’ve developed a likable personality. I hardly have any enemies. I am charismatic and charming and easy-going. My people skills are probably my strongest skills. So from a social perspective, I’ve done alright for myself.

But it gets out of hand sometimes! I end up being a people pleaser. I shapeshift into whatever people want or need me to be; a chameleon. I usually tend to others’ needs before my own. I engage in “friend hopping” which gets tiring and superficial at times. And the worst issue of them all: I’m always on the lookout for a new romantic relationship! Because what better way to prove to yourself that you’re lovable than to get somebody – anybody – to fall in love with you.

It’s all backwards. And I have so much to unpack here that it’s going to take more than today’s 500 words to cover. But I at least wanted to introduce this topic. Out of all of my interests and projects, this is the one thing I would love to finally master: loving myself for who I am.

And it’s not that I hate myself. Not at all. I do like myself. But I just don’t feel like I’m enough. I don’t feel like I measure up. And the ramifications of this are far-reaching.

So it’s a long journey ahead. I don’t expect this will be solved in one go. I’ve been on this journey for a while now, but I’m finally putting my full focus into this because it’s about time. No more distractions. Just prioritizing my self-care. Just learning to love myself. Because if I can’t give myself love, can I really give it to others?

With LOVE,

Q.

Authentic August – Day 13

Something I always talk about is the difference between knowing a thing in theory and knowing a thing in practice, or through experience. For example, while I may know that my family loves me and that I love my family, I’m unsure that we experience that fully. To me the experience of love should feel so overwhelming that you ache. Like a deep joy that overflows your heart which then leads to the impulse to hug your person, to tear a little just thinking of them, or to vulnerably look them in the eyes and simply say “I love you.”

Yeah, all that mushy gushy stuff… we don’t do that! At least not yet. It’s unbearable to imagine a day when my mom or dad or even me (I would hope my little brother outlives us all) reaches the end of our life without having dived deeper into the experience of love. Yes, I’m okay knowing that we love each other, and I’m very grateful for this and for the fact that we get along – I know not every family is lucky enough to say that – but I will forever strive for deeper connections and experiences with people, especially with my family.

I get that I’m a weirdo. Perhaps I am overly sentimental and highly emotional, but that’s just who I am! And I shouldn’t shy away from that just to stick to the status quo. Growth is the result of relentlessly operating outside of your comfort zone. And I think we can agree that pushing past our discomfort is well worth reaching a deeper experience of love; it’s well worth reaching new heights in the experience of life.

Let’s illustrate this theory vs. practice idea with a simpler example: living a healthy life. We all know what it takes to live a healthy life. Eat more veggies, consume less processed foods, and get active three to five times a week. Simple. Just plug and play and you’re on your way. But even though a lot of us know this to be true, we somehow fail to put that knowledge into practice, so we don’t actually experience a healthier body, much to our body’s dismay.

This reminds me of one of my all-time favorite quotes from the book that kickstarted my obsession with personal development, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey:

“To learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know.”

I’ve spent a whole lot of time learning. I’ve spent a whole lot of time accumulating knowledge. But I’ve only spent a portion of that time doing. On executing on that knowledge. In a lot of ways this stage of my life feels like a time for doing. For putting everything I’ve learned over the years into practice. I don’t mean to minimize the growth that I have experienced up to now – in fact, I’m rather far removed from the person I once was – I’m just saying that it feels like I’m on the verge of some new, fresh growth. And I know the key lies in doing the work. In doing the work we know we ought to. So let’s get to work, shall we?

With LOVE,

Q.

Authentic August – Day 12

I’m rather exhausted today! I’m functioning just fine, but I’m only just getting by. And I’m not motivated to write this post. The reason why is that I didn’t get much sleep last night. I was finishing up my weekly YouTube video, which I’ve promised to release before I go to bed every Tuesday night. If I don’t, then I’m supposed to donate to an anti-charity. So far this strategy is working out for me, and I am posting every Tuesday night (or Wednesday morning), but this whole staying up late thing has got to go!

I’ve always been a night owl, but I think it’s time to become an early bird! I was actually already consistently waking up around 5:00 am for a good while there – from March to June – but my habits kind of went by the wayside when I got lost in my emotional/existential slump. But now I’m back!

I think from March to June my habits were a little too disciplined and a bit too intense, which is part of why I slipped into the slump in the first place. So what we’re after here is sustainability. Balance. Again… how can we play at the intersection of discipline and surrender?

Let’s brainstorm:

First of all, I think this daily blog is important because it prioritizes my creative side. In the recent past, my life revolved around a solid morning routine and my meditation practice. And I think that’s great! But I neglected my creativity. And I think it’s odd to claim that I’m a musician and that I have dreams of making a living by making things, but at the same time spend little time actually pursuing that dream. Oh the crippling nature of fear!

So now I’d like to experiment with designing my days around my creativity, and not the other way around. I still want to maintain a healthy work-life balance, but if anything must be sacrificed, it will no longer be my craft. And I’m liking the idea of using this blog as the foundation for all of my other habits, including waking up earlier.

Here’s what I’m thinking:

1. Sleep before midnight. (As a night owl, it isn’t uncommon for me to stay up much later than this.)

2. Wake up before the sun. (I hesitate to set a definite sleep/wake time because when I get too rigid, I either burn out or I resist the schedule. It’s almost like I don’t like being told what to do, even if it’s my past self ordering me around. Crazy right? Lol. Also, when I “fail” or miss one of my habits, the perfectionist in me gets super critical and I end up feeling badly about myself. Then it’s a downward spiral from there! So this is my workaround for now.)

3. Spend the first 90 minutes of my waking hours completing this daily blog.

Since I’m already committed to “Authentic August”, I’m willing to run this experimental schedule for the remainder of the month. (But only on my days off, which should be fine since I only work three days a week.) I think it’s pretty straightforward and I believe I can stick to it; after all, August is already almost halfway through. So let’s see what happens! I’ll report back if and when I learn anything significant.

With LOVE,

Q.